Book Quote Pt. 2

"He felt exhausted beyond all reason. His thought drifted without direction. To lose Thunderhead, that he was resigned to. But what about Jewel? Carey? Everything? How had he happened to get in this jam? What about life itself? Would he achieve anything he wanted? What lay ahead? Suddenly he shuddered. It seemed as if all his needs and wants were known...they lay exposed to some malevolent eye...he was helpless...and all that he loved would be swept out of his reach by some power he could not control.
Attempting, with his inner vision, to see what lay ahead for him it seemed as if he could almost divine his future life as if it were a wide, mist-covered plain, dark. If there were waiting for him marriage, fatherhood, a life work, a home of his own, children, he could not see them. He could see no path leading to any of those stations and it did not seem possible that they were really there. How could there come a directive on the path of his life?
There was the soft steady rustle of the rain falling, there was the hissing of the fire, there was the indescribably sweet fresh smell of the earth and the grasses, and occasionally the sharp crash of a heavy pine cone falling, scattering showers of water.
An hour passed. Still Ken sat motionless. How helpless he was...not only he, but his father...the things you read in newspapers...what terrible things happen to people because they are all helpless and cannot save themselves...just little futile children, unable to plan and do and achieve what they want to, frustrated and defeated at every turn. He began to feel surprised. He had not always known this. Lots of times he himself had been defeated, but he had never dreamed other people had it happen to them, too. He had thought grown people had power and could propose and dispose, his father and the President and all big powerful men. But they couldn't...No.... His father wanted Thunderhead to be found as much as he himself wanted it. Besides, his father would die someday; the President, too...No. Everyone was helpless and no one was complete or sure.
He reached this as a fact, as concrete as if it were something he held in his hands. He accepted it.
Finding this and accepting it, there began in him again the wild coursing; his mind, like a greyhound, trying to find the power that was not in himself or other men, the completeness that he now knew he would never have in himself.
And suddenly his lips parted in surprise and he said aloud, "Why! That's God!"