I merely have two conditions:
1) Do not alter the wording in any way. Please and thank you!
2) List me as the [amateur] poet. This one I'm not quite so firm on as the first condition, because I try to showcase the truth in my poetry, and if I have done that, then I do not need credit, so long as it "give(s) grace to those who hear". Still, as far as copyright, etc. is concerned, I or some other crazy person may want to someday publish my poems, and I would like what is mine to be known as mine.
A quiet stirring nestles in my soul;
A gentle soothing, potent as the air;
A peace so great, it's fathomless and whole -
It fills me with a stillness free from care.
Such wonder this, that calms my every nerve
And contemplating now, I bow my head;
This peace is far beyond what I deserve;
It comes because He took pain in my stead.
For every lash He took, He bought me back
He paid the full price as the nails drove in
Because of Him, forgiveness has no lack
And I am separated from my sin.
I wildly hate the Self I used to be
Vile, putrid, ragged, evil, wild;
Yet now because my Lord has called to me
I am proclaimed as my Father's child.
A Holy God can't stand the deeds of men.
Constant sinful acts and thoughts entice
None is good; no single one! So then,
Because of this there was a sacrifice.
A quiet stirring nestles in my heart.
Renewed and changed, I bear the mark of He;
By His love and grace I'll ne'er depart
Christ, the Lord and Saviour, died for me.
How sweet the broken, blistered feet
Of those who spread the gospel pure!
Where blood, and dust, and sorrow meet
Where love is clear, and faith is sure;
Where tears despairing, happy tears,
Or tears of trials far and near
Come together through the years
To stop and be collected here.
Our God is just; He knows our frame
that we are dust, that we are frail-
Our God is here, so we proclaim
The Good News: Onward, without fail!
Fear not the wicked Enemy;
Proclaim the truth with a brave will!
To be sure he is a flea
He can harass, but never kill.
What harm that God decrees to bring
Will come to pass, from Him above
But know that even suffering
Is ordered by His steadfast love.
God is with you as you speak
About His grace, the Gospel true
Encouragement is what you seek:
Be encouraged! He's with you.
Before and After
Flailing sorrows, empty words
Swarming over me in hordes
Will this torture never cease?
I am lost; I can't find peace.
Taking painful remedies
That only strengthen the disease
I kill myself; and yet I claim
That I am not the one to blame.
Pointing fingers; ruined lives
All the while my sickness thrives
To break me down, delude, enslave
Until I meet an early grave.
This lie that cuts straight to the heart
This burden has become an art.
I am an expert at this life
Of death and war, of pain and strife.
Where is hope among my being? ...is this mercy that I'm seeing,
Wondrous love outpouring here
Consuming me; it draws me near
And I find rest: At last! At last!
...So now my former Self is past.
Poor Lonely Ocean Man (title courtesy of Sarah)
Look; I am broken down to despair.
For my love, my love, with face so fair,
Whose promise I had kept so close to my heart,
Remembering how she'd said we'd ne'er be apart,
Who promised she'd save me from this cruel fate,
Left without a word through the water's gate.
I could not follow; I am in chains.
I am bound to the ocean that gives me great pain.
I gave my word that the waters would stay
As I directed, so they would obey.
In exchange for my love who betrayed me down here,
I am the ocean shepherd for thousands of years.
I've spent so long in eternal despair,
For my love, my love, considered so fair,
With eyes of blue like the water's deep,
Hair so dark it could put you to sleep,
Her smile like that of the angels above,
And now I have lost her, my poor lonely love.
She waited for years for me to come back,
Eternally weathering the water's attack,
For though I thought I had the rule,
The waters took over; I was such a fool!
I am now chained to the depths of the sea,
Left to serve them eternally.
At first I thought that she would return,
But years have gone by and since then I have learned,
My love was ill placed; I now serve the sea
For there's nothing up there that's better for me.
The water sprites mock me for the love that I lost
And the promise I made that brought such a great cost.
My soul is the sea; my mind is my own.
I'd sooner see all the earth wallow and drown.
There! The water is flooding the land.
They soon will all learn of this poor lonely man
Who was left to himself in the depths of the sea,
And who has finally given in to insanity.
Wait! There she is!...Her eyes are so cheerless
They are dead and grey when once they were fearless.
I killed her; I killed her! And what's in her hand?
The key that would open my miserable bands.
She was coming back for me; Now she is gone
And I am condemned to live all alone.
'Twas not by chance the waters stirred;
They shook, excited by God's Word.
They listen well, and rise and fall
According to the Master's call.
The waves all roll and strike the shore
Accepting what He has in store-
God! O, make me like the sea
That rises and exists for Thee.
Breaking On My Own
I’m falling even further
Than I ever fell before
Looking through this blackness
For a glimmer of hope
I can’t believe I broke so fast
I’ll never be the same
And in the midst of suffering
I call out Your name
I’m breaking on my own
I can’t do this alone
And even though I’ve tried
I know that I
Can’t do it myself
Why does it take a stab of pain
To make me realize
I've always been this mess of junk
I still believe the lies
I am not as in control
As I would like to be
I need Your voice to bring me back
Lord, You must set me free
I’m breaking on my own
I can’t do this alone
And even though I've tried
I know that I
Can’t do it myself
Draw me to Your arms again
Remove the chains that bind me
Take the guilt I feel right now
In my weakness You find me
I’m breaking on my own
I try to do this alone
Lord, You can set me free
You wash me clean and white
You give Your righteousness to me
You say I’m Your delight
You put me back together
Your patience has no lack
And even though I am still marred
Your love shines through the cracks
I’m broken on my own
I know I can’t do this alone
You never left me
You set me free
I live by Your grace
You have made me whole
I love You more and more
I’m breaking on my own...
But no; I’m not alone
Suspended in the morning sky
A star shines light, with radiant face;
I see it and I'm filled with joy,
The Hand which made that star shine bright
Holds me close with tender care.
'Tis haunting: I am His delight
And I find comfort there.
I Stand Ashamed
I lie ashamed before the King
In misery and endless grief
Every accusation stings
My soul; I can find no relief.
I kneel accused before the throne
But my Defender, speaking up,
Proclaims His goodness as my own
And takes my sin; He drinks my cup.
I stand as that grace takes its toll
But the accuser wants to fight
He demands to see my record whole
He claims it is his solemn right.
My Defender gives it him;
"Read at will," is what He said.
The records are in no way slim:
My heart is filled with sudden dread.
What is hidden from that book?
What unrecorded message hides?
None! Every action, every look
And thought and word besides:
All my wrongs are written there
All my sins for all to see!
It almost is too much to bear;
He opens it; he seeks to read.
The accuser stands in silence though,
His mouth is shut, his face gone white.
He slams the book with violence now,
And shouts with every form of spite.
"I would accuse," said he, "with pride
If the words could but be read;
But every single dot inside
Is covered over with blood red!"
My Defender gives a smile.
"If only you had understood.
You accuse, yet all the while
Her sins are covered with My blood.
"My sacrifice has paid her price;
You have no case, it is all done.
She is not yours, though you entice.
She is mine, and I have won."
I screamed for peace to fill my wants;
Got only silence in response.
I wept for love to lift me up;
Disappointment filled my cup.
I wanted joy and nothing less;
Receiving only bitterness,
I wept, and wept, and wept; and then
Met up with the Son of Man
Finding Him, I've found it all,
Peace and Love and Joy in full.
Found by Him, and called His own,
I rest in the grace He's shown.
Do you know what Christ did for you?
Do you know the cross He bore?
Do you know you are forgiven;
Purified, redeemed, restored?
Do you know why Jesus did that?
Why He came down from above?
Well, there is a simple answer:
He did it all because of love.
For love He took the many beatings
In love He wore the crown of thorns
For love He faced the hilltop, meeting
Wrath and separation; scorn
From men who did not understand
That He was dying in their stead.
In love He took the nails through hands
That healed the lame and raised the dead.
In love He cried, "Father, forgive them!"
In love He died and rose again.
So we come forward as His children
For He saved us from our sin.
Jesus Christ is Love Incarnate
Living Mercy, Mighty Grace
Apparently He thinks we're worth it;
Meager us! Finding a place
Adopted as the Father's children,
Washed and cleansed by Jesus! Free
From former stains and sin's destruction;
Chainless. Called to purity.
Admired, and deplored
Broken, and restored
Rebellious, and penitent
Knowing, and ignorant
Awake, and slumbering
Fast-paced, and lumbering
Empty, and overflowing
Stagnant, and clearly growing
Blind, and yet open-eyed
Humble, yet filled with pride
Dirty, and cleansed from sin
Done, waiting to begin
Crippled, and standing strong
Sometimes right, often wrong
Fresh, and fading away
Shadowed, and bright as day
Trusting, and suspicious
Content, and so listless
Climbing, and tumbling
Frightened, and unafraid
Indebted, and fully paid.
The Weight of It All
The weight of it all bears downward upon me,
Incessantly pressing my hopes and my dreams,
Carting me onward, forcing me under
To places where dark, void anxiety teems.
I look up, exhausted, wipe sweat from my brow
Another step forward, beware lest I fall-
With sudden and clarified realization
I see that I am not the bearer at all.
The weight of it all rests upon my Lord Jesus,
He takes all my burdens, the old and the new,
And all as I see this and my heart is opened,
I realize afresh that He carries me, too.
Now I look forward in anticipation,
Knowing He carries, holding me near,
The weight of it all drops right off of my shoulders
And I am at rest, with not one thing to fear.
Life and death.
My Saviour redeemed my soul.
Bought me access into the family of God,
Tied to God forever by the blood of Christ.
He shed it,
drowned in it,
The physical manifestation
of His self-sacrificing love,
Poured out not for His own sake,
Given. Given. Given.
A family, a child of God
In life, and death, and life
With blood ties to God, Abba, Father,
Through my Brother, my God, my Saviour