mindful of God

For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. (1 Peter 2:19-20)

Imagine having a conscience so "impressed and governed by the idea of God" that you endure every sorrow and unjust suffering. That is what it means to be mindful. 

"a gracious thing". This gives me hope because God does not trivialize our suffering. God knows when we suffer unjustly. It's not as though he doesn't see it. He does. It is a gracious thing in the sight of God to endure unjust suffering. God sees our suffering. He might bring us out of it, he might provide a way of escape, but more often I think he provides a way to endure. He gives strength so that we may go on, and he will turn every sorrow into joy beyond imagining. I am confident that, some day, he will smile down on me and say, "Do you remember when you suffered unjustly? I do. I saw your tears. I saw your confusion. I saw also that you trusted in me, and you knew I was with you even if you didn't always feel it. Well done." 

God sees everything. He sees when we go through atrocious things, and he sees when we jump for joy through the great times. He sees when we lie face down on the floor, weeping until we can't even make a sound anymore but the tears are still coming. He sees when we laugh until we can't even make a sound anymore and the tears are streaming. God knows when we suffer and when we celebrate. He knows when we're hurting and when we're humiliated. He knows when we're restored in Christ and when we rejoice despite the shame, carrying our crosses, taking step by step, ignoring the bruising of our feet and the slivers in our backs, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith. 

I want to have a mind full of God. The more I know him, the more I want to know more of him. He is beautiful, and faithful, and merciful and gracious. These characteristics I have attributed to him from the time I can remember, but as I walk through life I see the actual, personal nature of these attributes more and more. It's not just that God is merciful and gracious; he is merciful to me, every day. He is gracious to me, every moment. God is not abstract, he is very much present, very much personal... and I want to be mindful of him.