Slightly Exaggerated Tale

Well, we have high speed. We just got it today.

This is a huge deal. Let me explain.

Imagine this scenario: six computers in one room. Six people, (maybe five...) all wanting to check their email or search for documents on Tertullian or a biography on G.A. Henty at the same time. Now, this normally wouldn't be so bad. I mean, they have places where people are collectively and simultaneously checking their email at the same time, right? No biggie. Well...

When I say we had slow speed, I do not mean turtle slow. I mean dead, legless, without-hope-of-moving-unless-a-very-strong-wind-picks-up turtle. And how often does a very strong wind pick up? Never, when six people want it all at once, each calling for it to blow in their direction, please!

None of us in this family can go very long without voicing our complaints. So this is what you'd hear on a particular morning or evening: "Come on!" "This takes FOREVER!" "I quit!" "DIE, SLOW SPEED DIAL UP!" And this final one would be followed by five people stopping the sixth from taking the wood ax to our only hope of internet, however small that hope was.

On a general day you'd hear teeth grinding, toes tapping, and heads banging against walls. On rainy days you might have found one of us in the corner, rocking to and fro with our arms around our knees, whispering "Patience is a virtue; patience is a virtue; patience is a virtue..."

But, NO MORE! We are now free! We are released from the bondage to dial-up! We have thrown off the chains that so long chafed our brains. No more do we play card games while waiting for a page to load. Now we do it because it's fun to beat the computer players! Ha! No more do we co-ordinate computer times to be sure each of us has a chance! Now we can all check at the same time with no hassle whatsoever!

So, a final word. All you people who never experience dial-up, you should count yourselves blessed. I would suggest that you go visit someone who has it (not us anymore, I'm afraid), just so you appreciate how little time you have to spend. You know how many years of my life I wasted waiting for things to load?

Probably none, but still...