Before and After?

I wrote this because I was thinking about the time before Christ, and afterward, and the stark difference between the two. (As a side theological note: by the final line I don't mean that Christians no longer sin - but "I am not what I once was"....) Thoughts?

~

Flailing sorrows, empty words

Swarming over me in hordes

Will this torture never cease?

I am lost; I can't find peace.

Taking painful remedies

That only strengthen the disease

I kill myself; and yet I claim

That I am not the one to blame.

~

Pointing fingers; ruined lives

All the while my sickness thrives

To break me down, delude, enslave

Until I meet an early grave.

This lie that cuts straight to the heart

This burden has become an art.

I am an expert at this life

Of death and war, of pain and strife.

~

Where is hope among my being?

...is this mercy that I'm seeing,

Wondrous love outpouring here

Consuming me; it draws me near

And I find rest: At last! At last!

So now my former Self is past.